Dr. Charles T. Hill
Professor of Psychology at Whittier College
If you’re single and loving it or searching for your future partner in life, some cities might be better than others to find romance. US cities vary in the size of the dating pool, cost of living, and quality of life.
We have scientifically proven that Lincoln, Nebraska is the most single-friendly city in the United States, beating out other great cities across the US.
In our groundbreaking new study, the affordability, population attributes, romance, and quality of life were taken into account from the most populous metro areas in the US.
Maine, Oregon, New Mexico, Rhode Island, Washington, New Jersey, Nevada, Colorado, California, Illinois, New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Maryland, DC
*All these states are ‘Working Toward Innovative Equality’ according to the State Equality INdex (SEI) from the Equality Federation and HRC.
West Virginia, Idaho, Kentucky, Arkansas, Florida, Alabama, Indiana, Tennessee, Nebraska, Michigan, Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas, Ohio, Georgia, Arizona, Missouri, Mississippi, Louisiana, South Carolina, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Illinois, North Carolina, Alaska
*All these states are ‘High Priority to Achieve Basic Equality’ according to the State Equality INdex (SEI) from the Equality Federation and HRC.
Professor of Psychology at Whittier College
You need to have something in common with a potential partner, in order to have things to talk about and things to do together. So you look for a city that has readily available the kinds of activities that you enjoy, where you could meet potential partners and engage in activities with them. Do they have recreation facilities, cultural activities, dance clubs, or other places where you would enjoy meeting or going with a partner? – Dr. Charles T. Hill
Half of dating partners are introduced by someone else, typically friends. This is usually in a casual manner not necessarily setting up a date. So go places and do things where you are likely to find new friends, who can introduce you to others in their networks. You are more likely to have values and attitudes in common with potential partners met through friends, than people met in a bar whom you have less reason to trust. -Dr. Charles T. Hill
Try to join LGBT organizations to meet potential partners and to find friends who could introduce you to others in their networks. This will provide a support network where you are accepted, and avoid hostile reactions if your attempts to approach a potential partner are not welcome. – Dr. Charles T. Hill
The factors that predict relationship satisfaction and commitment are described in my book, Hill, C. T. (2019). Intimate Relationships across cultures: A Comparative study. New York: Cambridge University Press.
The most important factors are:
These same factors are important in eight relationship types (women or men in opposite-sex or same-sex relationships unmarried or married), and across nine cultural regions around the world. – Dr. Charles T. Hill
Go places and engage in activities not only where you are likely to meet potential partners, but also friends who can introduce you to others in their networks.
You are more likely to have values and interests in common with partners met through activities you enjoy, or met through friends. Partners approved by parents and friends are also likely to be more compatible.
When you marry someone you are marrying into their family and network of friends, and their disapproval creates problems. But sometimes conflicting values and prejudices of parents makes this unavoidable, especially if you are LGBT and your parents are unaccepting. – Dr. Charles T. Hill
There are many places to go and things to do that are free. If you cannot find inexpensive or free things that both you and a potential partner enjoy, look for another partner. Conflicts over money are a major cause of relationship dissatisfaction. – Dr. Charles T. Hill
Create affordable housing, where singles can either live alone or with roommates. Create recreational and cultural places and activities where singles can afford to meet potential partners and join friendship networks. – Dr. Charles T. Hill
In order to determine the best cities for singles, MyDatingAdviser.com compared 150 of the most populated U.S. cities across four key dimensions: 1) Population Attributes, 2) Romance, 3) Quality of Life, and 4) Affordability.
We evaluated each of those dimensions using 20 relevant metrics. These are listed below with their corresponding weights. The metrics were combined to create a 100-point scale, with a score of 100 representing the most favorable conditions for singles.
We determined each city’s weighted average across all metrics to calculate its overall score and used the resulting scores to rank-order our sample. In determining our sample, we considered only the city proper in each case, excluding cities in the surrounding metro area.
Sources: Data used to create this ranking were collected from the U.S. Census. American Community Survey, Gallup National Health, and Well-Being Index, Robert Wood Foundation’s ‘Life Expectancy by Zip Code’ based on data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Promiscuity Index from BestLifeOnline, State Equality Index (SEI) from the Equality Federation, and HRC, Numbeo and U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.