How to flirt on text: 10 Ways to Have a Flirty Conversation
Flirting over text can be tricky to master, but luckily we’re here to help! The art of flirting seamlessly over text messages can often seem like a daunting task, but with the right creativity and confidence, you’ll soon be exchanging flirty comments with ease.
Text flirting is an important tool when it comes to dating and building relationships, so learning how to do it effectively is key! Here are easy tips for flirty texting, plus an insightful breakdown of how flirty text messages can work in your favor on the dating scene. So read on – it’s time to get flirty!
1. Send a flirty compliment
Compliments are effective because they make the recipient feel good about themselves. It’s why we all love receiving them. And when it comes to flirting over text, sending a sweet message to make your crush smile is a surefire way to earn brownie points.
“Compliments can be a useful tool to nurture and enhance relationships,” says psychotherapist Lindsay Liben, LCSW. “Ultimately, it contributes to deeper, more intimate connection.”
Compliments can also make you, as the giver, feel happier too. Liben points to research showing that giving gratitude-based compliments, in particular, correlates with greater levels of optimism, satisfaction, and happiness.
And you don’t have to try too hard with your compliments either. Keep it simple by following these examples:
- “You have such a lovely smile.”
- “You’ve been smashing it at work this week.”
- “You always say the nicest things.”
Make sure that the compliments you’re sending are genuine and heartfelt. They might come across as insincere otherwise.
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2. Use their name in texts
What’s in a name? Well, quite a lot. Using your crush’s name in a text draws their attention straight to you. It also shows respect and consideration for the conversation.
Using the person’s name acknowledges their identity, massaging their Ego and boosting their self-esteem. You have done them a great favor (according to Changing Minds).
When you next send a text to your crush, try using their name. If in doubt, these examples should help you get started:
- “Hey, Adam! How has your day been?”
This message immediately grabs their attention and shows that you’re thinking about them.
- So, Ben, what would you like to do at the weekend?
It puts the spotlight on your question, allowing you to make plans to go on a date.
- “That’s an interesting point, Joe. Can I add to that…”
It offers you the chance to talk about something more interesting. It also keeps the conversation on track.
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3. Be mysterious
It’s the age-old dating problem: do you make it obvious you’re keen, or do you play hard to get? It seems that it’s better to keep some things secret based on research. Because the unknown is so sexy.
As humans, we are naturally curious beings. Mystery also plays into the fantasy element of our brain, meaning that your crush will want to know more over time. It’s science; they won’t be able to help themselves.
A study with Erin Whitchurch and her colleagues with 47 female undergraduates found that being unavailable isn’t attractive, but being mysterious is.
According to the researchers, “people who create uncertainty about how much they like someone can increase that person’s interest in them” (see the full report here “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not . . .”: Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction).
Don’t text back too soon if you’re looking for ways to be mysterious. It would help if you showed your crush that life doesn’t revolve around them. You have friends, go out and have fun, and texting them back isn’t your priority (even if it is).
Also, don’t offer up too much information about yourself. That can come later when you’ve built that trust with your crush. So instead, leave them wanting to find out more.
An elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to know more, drawing them into your circle. The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken.” –Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
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4. Use emojis in your texts
Not only are emojis fun, but they convey a whole range of emotions that words sometimes can’t. Expressing yourself through an emoji can also help build a sense of empathy between you and the person you’re texting.
They also add a lighthearted touch to your conversation. Or, if you’re not in the mood to chat, you can send an emoji to stop yourself from coming across as rude.
Smiley emojis also appear to be particularly impactful on recipients’ emotions through emotional contagion (Lohmann, Pyka, & Zanger, 2017).
- The heart eyes emoji is perfect if you love what your crush says.
- If you’re feeling sad, say it with a sad-faced emoji.
- Any food emojis will work if you want to invite them for food.
- Are you feeling naughty? Then whack out the aubergine.
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5. Arouse your crush discreetly
You might not want to go as far as sexting, but you can arouse your crush by dropping subtle sexual hints throughout your messages. But try keeping it PG13 to start with, as going in too hard early on could scare them off.
Try dropping in some of these lowkey messages the next time you text to get your crush feeling aroused.
- “Lying in bed and bored. I wish you were here to play Simon Says with me ;).”
- “I would invite you to come over this weekend, but I’m not sure I can keep my hands to myself.”
- “Do you have any fantasies?”
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6. Don’t come on too strong
Here is one piece of advice we all need to hear – it’s hard. When you’re into someone, it’s so easy to get obsessed about whether they like you or not. But overdoing it will scare them off and removes that sense of mystery we covered earlier on.
“If someone has a life and is busy at work, it’s fun to hear from them a few times a day when you first start dating but creating a digital novel is too much, too soon,” said award-winning dating coach and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira.
“If you’re forgetting that this new person you’re dating has their own life, you might be coming off too strong,” said TooTimid’s sex and relationship expert, Bethany Ricciardi. “You don’t want to ask them to hang out every night or tag along during errands and events they have going on. But, on the other hand, if they want you there, they’ll invite you, and sometimes people need their alone time.”
To combat this, take some of these tips on board:
- Stop texting first. If you get the urge, fight it. They WILL text back. And if they don’t, maybe they weren’t the right one.
- Shorten your messages. Only give them the good stuff — don’t waffle, as long messages are hard to respond to. You want to maintain that air of mystery, so only send the top-line details until they ask for more.
- Once you’ve sent your message, don’t text for a follow-up. Instead, be patient — your crush has a busy life and probably hasn’t gotten around to it.
7. Show that you care about them
The little things often speak the loudest. You don’t have to spend much money or put in a lot of effort to make someone feel appreciated. But by showing them some random acts of kindness, you’ll make them feel so loved.
Here is a list of examples to tell someone you love and appreciate them (from TinyBuddha.com)
- Make them a cup of tea when they haven’t asked for one.
- Could you give them a spontaneous hug?
- Ask them if they’re OK.
- Offer to help with the cleaning.
- Share your food.
- Record their favorite TV show.
- Send flowers for no reason.
- Run them a bath.
- Could you give them your last piece of chocolate?
- Could you put a note in with their lunch?
8. Tease your crush
Gently teasing your crush over text is sure to get their attention. However, lighthearted banter can go a long way from poking fun at something they don’t like about themselves to giving them a funny pet name.
It shows you’re up for laughing and don’t take yourself too seriously. Make sure that if you can give it, you can take it too.
9. Don’t be clingy
Every day texting is not cool. It will stress your crush out, but it will also stress you. No one has time to be on the phone all day. So it’s wise to find other things to focus on to stop yourself from worrying when you might receive a message.
According to MyDomain.com, when you feel the urge to contact your crush frequently, it’s essential to put down the phone and use that time to focus on yourself rather than reaching out to them.
Try sticking to a particular time each day that you will allow yourself to text. Then, refrain from sending another message until your crush responds. If you have to, block their number for a few hours to stop yourself from temptation.
Also, don’t get too carried away. Leave it for an hour or so before responding when you receive a reply. That way, the messaging doesn’t feel too intense, and it gives you both time to think about your responses. Think quality over quantity.
10. Share some flirty pictures
Nude pictures can be fun, but only when you trust someone enough to know they will not share them. Plus, you don’t want to deliver all the goods straight away.
“Instead of a money shot, try picking a more family-friendly part of your body and presenting it in a sexy way, like your legs. Sit on the bed with your bare legs crossed at the ankle” (find more hot picture ideas here).
Or why not borrow some of their clothes the next time you’re around and take a snap of you wearing them? Strategically undo a button or show a peek of flesh to get them in the mood.
You could try something super simple by sending a close-up picture of your lips. Lips drive men wild, so why not show a flash of the tongue to up the stakes?
You look so good right now. I can’t actually see you, but I assume you look good because you always do.
Flirt with your crush on text today!
Texting can be a great way to express your feelings and let someone know you like them. All it takes is a few well-thought-out messages and the right attitude. To succeed with flirtatious texting, keep it lighthearted, creative, and fun. From sending little emojis to being honest about your feelings, flirting through text can be a great way to get closer and make someone feel special. So go ahead, give it a try! Who knows, maybe you’ll be texting with your future sweetheart sooner than you think. Good luck! ♥️
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