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How to Flirt on Text

How to flirt on text: 10 Ways to Have a Flirty Conversation

Flirting over text can be tricky to master, but luckily, we’re here to help! The art of flirting seamlessly over text messages can often seem daunting, but with the right creativity and confidence, you’ll soon be exchanging flirty comments with ease.

Text flirting is essential for dating and building relationships, so learning how to do it effectively is vital! Here are easy tips for flirty texting, plus an insightful breakdown of how flirty text messages can work in your favor on the dating scene. So read on—it’s time to get flirty!

how to flirt on text compliment

1. Send a flirty compliment

Compliments are effective because they make the recipient feel good about themselves. It’s why we all love receiving them. And when it comes to flirting over text, sending a sweet message to make your crush smile is a surefire way to earn brownie points.

“Compliments can be useful to nurture and enhance relationships,” says psychotherapist Lindsay Liben, LCSW. Ultimately, they contribute to deeper, more intimate connection.”

Compliments can also make you, as the giver, feel happier too. Liben points to research showing that giving gratitude-based compliments, in particular, correlates with greater levels of optimism, satisfaction, and happiness.

And you don’t have to try too hard with your compliments either. Keep it simple by following these examples:

  • “You have such a lovely smile.”
  • “You’ve been smashing it at work this week.”
  • “You always say the nicest things.”

Make sure that the compliments you’re sending are genuine and heartfelt. Otherwise, they might come across as insincere.

how to flirt text use name

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2. Use their name in texts

What’s in a name? Well, quite a lot. Using your crush’s name in a text draws their attention straight to you. It also shows respect and consideration for the conversation.

Using the person’s name acknowledges their identity, massages their Ego, and boosts their self-esteem. You have done them a great favor (according to Changing Minds).

When you next text your crush, try using their name. If in doubt, these examples should help you get started:

  • “Hey, Adam! How has your day been?”

This message immediately grabs their attention and shows that you’re thinking about them.

  • So, Ben, what would you like to do at the weekend?

It puts the spotlight on your question, allowing you to make plans to go on a date.

  • “That’s an interesting point, Joe. Can I add to that…”

It offers you the chance to talk about something more interesting. It also keeps the conversation on track.

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woman funny texts

3. Be mysterious

It’s the age-old dating problem: do you make it obvious you’re keen or play hard to get? It seems it’s better to keep some things secret based on research because the unknown is so sexy.

Humans are naturally curious. Mystery plays into the fantasy element of our brains, meaning that your crush will want to know more over time. It’s science; they won’t be able to help themselves.

A study with Erin Whitchurch and her colleagues with 47 female undergraduates found that being unavailable isn’t attractive, but being mysterious is.

According to the researchers, “people who create uncertainty about how much they like someone can increase that person’s interest in them” (see the full report hereHe Loves Me, He Loves Me Not . . .”: Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction).

Don’t text back too soon if you’re looking for ways to be mysterious. It would help to show your crush that life doesn’t revolve around them. You have friends, go out and have fun, and texting them back isn’t your priority (even if it is).

Also, don’t offer up too much information about yourself. That can come later when you’ve built that trust with your crush. So instead, leave them wanting to find out more.

An elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to know more, drawing them into your circle. The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken.” –Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction

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4. Use emojis in your texts

Not only are emojis fun, but they convey a whole range of emotions that words sometimes can’t. Expressing yourself through an emoji can also help build a sense of empathy between you and the person you’re texting.

They also add a lighthearted touch to your conversation. Or, if you’re not in the mood to chat, you can send an emoji to stop yourself from coming across as rude.

Smiley emojis also impact recipients’ emotions through emotional contagion (Lohmann, Pyka, & Zanger, 2017).

  • The heart-eye emoji is perfect if you love what your crush says.
  • If you’re feeling sad, say it with a sad-faced emoji.
  • Any food emojis will work if you want to invite them for food.
  • Are you feeling naughty? Then whack out the aubergine.

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how to flirt on text

5. Arouse your crush discreetly

You might not want to go as far as sexting, but you can arouse your crush by dropping subtle sexual hints throughout your messages. But try keeping it PG13 to start with, as going in too hard early on could scare them off.

Try dropping in some of these low-key messages the next time you text to arouse your crush.

  • “Lying in bed and bored. I wish you were here to play Simon Says with me ;).”
  • “I would invite you to come over this weekend, but I’m not sure I can keep my hands to myself.”
  • “Do you have any fantasies?”

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6. Don’t come on too strong

Here is one piece of advice we all need to hear—it’s hard. When you’re into someone, it’s easy to get obsessed about whether they like you. But overdoing it will scare them off and remove that sense of mystery we covered earlier.

“If someone has a life and is busy at work, it’s fun to hear from them a few times a day when you first start dating, but creating a digital novel is too much, too soon,” said award-winning dating coach and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira.

“If you’re forgetting that this new person you’re dating has their own life, you might be coming off too strong,” said TooTimid’s sex and relationship expert, Bethany Ricciardi. “You don’t want to ask them to hang out every night or tag along during errands and events they have going on. But, on the other hand, if they want you there, they’ll invite you, and sometimes people need their alone time.”

To combat this, take some of these tips on board:

  • Stop texting first. If you get the urge, fight it. They WILL text back. And if they don’t, maybe they weren’t the right one.
  • Shorten your messages. Only give them the good stuff — don’t waffle, as long messages are complex to respond to. You want to maintain that air of mystery, so only send the top-line details until they ask for more.
  • Once you’ve sent your message, don’t text for a follow-up. Instead, be patient — your crush has a busy life and probably hasn’t gotten around to it.

7. Show that you care about them

The little things often speak the loudest. You don’t have to spend much money or effort to make someone feel appreciated. But by showing them some random acts of kindness, you’ll make them feel so loved.

Here is a list of examples to tell someone you love and appreciate them (from TinyBuddha.com)

  • Make them a cup of tea when they haven’t asked for one.
  • Could you give them a spontaneous hug?
  • Ask them if they’re OK.
  • Offer to help with the cleaning.
  • Share your food.
  • Record their favorite TV show.
  • Send flowers for no reason.
  • Run them a bath.
  • Could you give them your last piece of chocolate?
  • Could you put a note in with their lunch?

8. Tease your crush

Gently teasing your crush over text is sure to get their attention. However, lighthearted banter can go a long way from poking fun at something they don’t like about themselves to giving them a funny pet name.

It shows you’re up for laughing and don’t take yourself too seriously. If you can give it, you can take it, too.

9. Don’t be clingy

Texting every day is not cool. It will stress your crush out, but it will also stress you. No one has time to be on the phone all day, so it’s wise to find other things to focus on to stop worrying when you might receive a message.

According to MyDomain.com, when you feel the urge to contact your crush frequently, it’s essential to put down the phone and use that time to focus on yourself rather than reaching out to them.

Try sticking to a particular time you will allow yourself to text each day. Then, refrain from sending another message until your crush responds. If you have to, block their number for a few hours to stop yourself from temptation.

Also, don’t get too carried away. Leave it for an hour or so before responding when you receive a reply. That way, the messaging doesn’t feel too intense, giving you time to consider your responses. Think quality over quantity.

10. Share some flirty pictures

Nude pictures can be fun, but only when you trust someone enough to know they will not share them. Plus, you don’t want to deliver all the goods straight away.

“Instead of a money shot, try picking a more family-friendly part of your body and presenting it in a sexy way, like your legs. Sit on the bed with your bare legs crossed at the ankle” (find more hot picture ideas here).

flirton text send sexy photos

Or why not borrow some of their clothes the next time you’re around and take a snap of you wearing them? Strategically undo a button or show a peek of flesh to get them in the mood.

You could try something super simple by sending a close-up picture of your lips. Lips drive men wild, so why not show a flash of the tongue to up the stakes?

You look so good right now. I can’t actually see you, but I assume you look good because you always do.

Flirt with your crush on text today!

Texting can be a great way to express your feelings and tell someone you like them. All it takes is a few well-thought-out messages and the right attitude. To succeed with flirtatious texting, keep it lighthearted, creative, and fun. From sending little emojis to being honest about your feelings, flirting through text can be a great way to get closer and make someone feel special. So go ahead, give it a try! Who knows, maybe you’ll be texting with your future sweetheart sooner than you think. Good luck! ♥️

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MyDatingAdviser Team

The team at MyDatingAdviser.com are relationship science experts, writers and dating coaches. They understand that human connection is the motive and result of a meaningful life. They believe the purpose of relationships is not to have another who might complete you but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.