best affair dating sites apps

Best Affair Dating Sites in 2020

If you’re in a hurry and want to know our choice for the best affair dating site, we would go with Ashley Madison.

Affair dating sites allow bored or curious people the chance to explore outside their relationship. Most allow you to sign up as an individual or a couple. They’re also discreet, offering privacy and security to keep your identity anonymous.

Unlike traditional dating sites, you’ll often find blurred out profile images. Profile information may be less detailed too. This is to protect members, but also means you need to get to know members on a deeper level.

In this article we will review the top affair dating sites below:

What are the best affair dating sites?

Ashley Madisontop choice

About Ashley Madison: Ashley Madison is one of the most famous and popular dating sites for affairs. You might also know them because of their unfortunate data breach a few years ago. Since then, they’ve worked hard to rebuild their reputation by improving the security across the site. Their motto is “Life is short. Have an affair®”, so they encourage extra marital affairs and open mindedness.

Why Ashley Madison is a top affair dating site: Ashley Madison has a whopping 54 million members worldwide. This offers so much choice when it comes to finding someone to have an affair with. It’s not just about infidelity either. Instead, couples can explore polyamory together. It’s discreet, too. You can browse anonymously and billing is kept totally secret from your partner.

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Victoria Milan

About Victoria Milan: Victoria Milan is a website designed to help you relive your passion and start an affair. The membership base is full of people who are married, single or curious. All have one thing in common – they are all looking to experience the thrills of an affair. 6,214,023 members use the site, so it’s already very popular with people bored in their relationships.

Why Victoria Milan is a top affair dating site: Victoria Milan offers an anonymous place to cheat. You can hide all your details and even blur out your face. And when you sign up, you create your profile with an imaginary username to protect your identity.

Gleeden

About Gleeden: Gleeden is made for women, by women. It’s been set up by a completely all-female team to empower women to enjoy discreet affairs. With 5,915,837 people already signed up worldwide, the membership base is made up of people looking to start an extramarital affair. It’s a good mix of men and women, but most are looking for something casual.

Why Gleeden is a top affair dating app: On Gleeden, real names aren’t accepted. Instead, you need to come up with a secure pseudonym to keep your identity hidden. One of the site’s great features is the panic button. By pressing it, you get taken off the site immediately to avoid being discovered by your significant other. You can even choose which site you’d like to be redirected to.

Illicit Encounters

About Illicit Encounters: Illicit Encounters was started in 2003 and offers couples the chance to discover excitement out of their marriage. They’re quite clear that the site isn’t a way to work through or end a marriage. Instead, it allows stale couples to have some casual fun. It’s only available to use in the UK and Ireland, meaning members hail from these two countries.

Why Illicit Encounters is a top affair dating site: The dating site offers a safe platform for people to meet. Singles aren’t allowed to sign up – this site is for couples only. Safety’s a big selling point too. Illicit Encounters encrypts card data and messages, and holds no payment details. You’ll never need to provide your real name either.

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BeNaughty

About BeNaughty: BeNaughty is for casual flings. If you’re looking for something quick or passionate, you’re matched up with likeminded people. The gender ratio is pretty evenly split, which makes finding a partner easy.

Why BeNaughty is a top affair dating app: BeNaughty is a versatile site. It allows you to browse through profiles you like while seeing who’s online at the same time. This is so you can arrange a quick hookup. The site also has a thing called FlirtCast. This allows you to cast your net by messaging multiple members at once.

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AdultFriendFinder

About AdultFriendFinder: With 95,911,939 signed up, AdultFriendFinder is the world’s largest adult dating site. However, the gender ratio is uneven, with only 20% of members women. Sorry, guys. Aside from inappropriate behaviour, nothing is off limits on the site. They encourage you to spice up your sex life by any means possible – including swinging.

Why AdultFriendFinder is a top affair dating site: There are so many ways to make contact with other members. This is through chat rooms, videos (which everyone can comment on), messaging and blogs. You can also contribute your erotic stories on the sex stories page. Then there’s the Sex Academy, which shares sex tips and helpful advice to members. In short, this isn’t just a site where you can find a hookup. It’s a community.

How are affair dating sites different from normal dating sites?

Affair dating sites aren’t about finding a long-term relationship or that special someone. Instead, they’re designed to help members have an affair. They can also help members find a married partner to sleep with.

Most are looking for something casual, but almost all are looking for the thrills that having an affair can bring. Typical dating websites don’t cater specifically for affairs. This can make it difficult for members to find other people who are already taken.

What are the benefits of joining an affair dating site?

Find what is lacking in your current partnership

Having an affair offers a chance to explore new things. Whether that’s through intimacy or an emotional bond, it can answer the question of what’s missing in your marriage. While it’s not wise to make this the reason for starting an affair, it can give you a greater sense of how to fix the problems in your relationship. That’s if your partner is willing to take you back.

Discover an exciting sexual connection

If sex has become dull and predictable, an affair can spice things up. A new partner can teach you new skills. Or you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be in the bedroom by experimenting with your sexuality. An affair also gives you the chance to explore with no boundaries. Finding the right willing partner can unlock a whole world of sexual potential.

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Increase happiness and wellbeing

You might not realise just how unhappy you’ve become unless you start an affair. And once you do, you could unleash a new sense of excitement within you. An affair can also boost your confidence while allowing you to feel good about yourself again. And most importantly, it gives you something to look forward to. This might be something you’ve been longing for a long time.

It could help your marriage

If you don’t want to give up on your marriage, an affair could be the driving force for change. It could show you just how much you love your partner. It could also give you the tools you need to make positive changes. By working through them together with your partner, you might come out the other side stronger than ever.

Who’s on affair dating sites?

It’s no surprise that people sign up to a dating site to cheat. Whether that’s because they’re in a loveless relationship or need some excitement is down to the individual. However, members are more likely to sign up on their own.

Although, some sites like Illicit Encounters only allow couples to sign up. Swingers are often welcomed, too. But all in all, affair dating sites offer the perfect platform for people who wish to experiment — whatever their situation.

What factors to look for when deciding on an affair dating site?

Security to keep your secrets in a safe place

From your billing details to the messages you send other members, data encryption is your best friend. This basically means all your details will be kept hidden. It also means they can’t be hacked. With Ashley Madison going through a breach in 2015, this is more important than ever. Whatever you do, do your research on all the sites before you sign up.

Features developed to protect your anonymity

Privacy is a really important factor when signing up to an affair dating site. You don’t want anyone nearby to recognise you. So when signing up, look for features such as profile picture blurring. You also never want to give your real name, so double check your chosen site uses pseudonyms.

Quality of membership base

If you’re going to have an affair, you should make sure it’s with the right person. Each affair website will draw a different crowd, so it’s a good plan to have some idea of who you’re looking for before you sign up.

When you’re taking such a risk in your personal life, you want to find someone who meets your needs. It’s so important you can trust them – finding a site that guarantees quality members (and not bots) will make you feel more comfortable.

Price

Because of their nature, affair dating sites don’t come cheap. Unfortunately, that’s the price you have to pay. And in this case, we think the premium is best. Invest in a site that offers optimum safety, security and a quality membership base. Put yourself first.

Why do affairs happen? Why do people have affairs?

Surprisingly, affairs aren’t always about sex. Studies show that only 20% of affairs are due to sexual infidelity. Another survey of 5,000 people in the UK found that sex wasn’t the priority.

Infidelity is never clear cut, but there is usually a whole range of factors that drive people to cheat. This could be a lack of affection in the relationship, a breakdown in communication, or a feeling of falling out of love.

There could be other problems in the relationship too. This includes physical or mental health issues, addiction or unaddressed marital problems. Whatever the issues may be, they can lead a person to seek comfort elsewhere to try and forget or fix their issues.

When it comes to the reasons why people cheat, 84% of women blame it on a lack of intimacy within their current relationship. 75% cite a lack of communication, 35% blame tiredness, 26% have suffered from a bad history with sex and abuse, and 23% have lost interest in having sex with their current partner.

Men fared differently. 68% of males asked blamed a lack of communication with their partner. 63% blamed stress, 44% a sexual dysfunction with their current partner, and 38% were driven to an affair because of a lack of emotional intimacy. Finally, 31% blamed fatigue.

According to expert marital therapist Andrew G Marshall, “Most affairs are about feeling helpless and neglected. You love your partner and don’t want to leave. The twisted solution often seems to protect your marriage by having an affair. Sexual problems have an emotional route – the vast majority are [actually caused] by communication problems.”

What are the types of affairs?

There are generally believed to be 6 types of an affair:

Lust.

This kind of affair is all about sex. It’s usually passionate and intense, but short-lived as it quickly fizzles out. It can often be used to mask emotional issues within a current relationship. Over time the novelty fades and both people realise they don’t have much in common.

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Revenge.

The ‘I’ll show you’ affair is born from resentment and anger. Instead of creating a solution, a person feels that starting an affair will give them a ‘one-up’ on their partner. This rarely ends well once the person having the affair realises it doesn’t make them feel any better.

Emotional.

No sex is involved with this kind of affair, but an emotional connection is built nonetheless. The two people text all the time, become a bit too close and develop an intimate and close bond. They don’t want to go any further than this though, because they don’t want to disrupt the life they’ve built.

Family.

When in laws or other non-related family members spend a lot of time together, feelings can develop. After years of sexual tension building up, you both succumb. The problem is, with these kinds of affairs, too many people get dragged in. Families are destroyed — was it worth it?

Hope.

This kind of affair can be dangerous and heartbreaking. One person is single, the other is married. The problem is, the single person believes that their new partner will leave their family for them. That day rarely ever comes, leaving the person more invested in the affair dejected and hurt.

All-encompassing.

This kind of affair feels so complete – both physically and emotionally. Out of all the affairs, this one has the most potential to derail lives completely. But this isn’t always a bad thing. Instead, it can lead to remarriage and happy life once the people having the affair realise they’re a better match than with their current partners.

Do affairs ever work?

More than one third of people in the UK admit to being unfaithful and, when this is disclosed to their partner, only 30% of marriages or long-term relationships end. Typically, couples with a long history and/or children stay together to try and salvage their relationship. But for those that do stay together, there’s always that doubt of ‘will it happen again?’.

There are instances where the people having an affair realise they’re right for each other. Many affairs begin through an emotional connection. This means that over time, genuine feelings could grow, giving an affair the potential to work.

Can you have affairs between married couples?

Around 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity. There are many reasons why married people might cheat. There could be a regret around getting married, frustration within the relationship or a lack of respect towards monogamy.

The reality is there are too many reasons to list without knowing the couple. But in marriage, it’s hard to forgive and forget – but it can be even harder to walk away.

What are some challenges of having an affair?

Problems with trust

This is probably the number one crux of an affair. How can you ever forget and move on? When your partner goes out with their friends, can you really be sure that’s who they’re with? It takes a strong person to be able to work through the affair.

The way to confront this is to be open and honest at all times. And similarly, if you decide to forgive, you can’t live your life questioning their every move. Trying to understand why the affair happened might also help couples to move forward.

Similar to a rebound relationship

While an affair might feel like a fast way to get over a breakup, it could end up making you feel worse. This is because you’re not allowing yourself to take that headspace you need. An affair can be messy too. With families and other people at risk of being hurt, if discovered you’ll end up having to face the drama as well as your own heartache. Do you have the energy for this?

Relationship based on fantasy and escape

Quite often, affairs are built on lust and fantasy. This is to escape the boredom and monotony of married life. But fantasy isn’t reflective of real-life and very quickly, the regret can start to seep in. Problem is at this point it’s too late and the damage is already done. Before you embark on this kind of affair, ask yourself, is it really worth it?

Judgement from family and friends (if you are open about it)

If your family and friends find out about the affair, things can become quite award. Your partner might not want the confrontation. Your family might not be able to accept them any longer.

This is probably the most heartbreaking part of it all. It’s so important that everyone can move forward together – communication is key. However, it’s also essential that your family respects your choice and supports your decision.

What are the benefits of having an affair?

Freedom outside of your relationship

If your relationship has gone stale, an affair can revitalise and give you purpose. It can allow you to forget the problems you’re facing at home. It can also make you feel more alive while growing as a person. If you’ve grown apart from your partner, you’re able to find that break you need to start living once again.

best affair dating sites apps

It can boost your health and wellbeing

Being in a bad relationship can seriously affect your mental health. You might feel down and depressed – especially when other couples seem so happy. Having an affair can boost your self-esteem while allowing you to have some fun. You might even be able to put this new-found happiness towards making your marriage work.

It could bring the spark back to your marriage

An affair doesn’t always happen because you’ve fallen out of love with your partner. It can be because you’ve fallen out of love with the routine and monotony. Instead, an affair could help you endure a dead-end relationship by giving you something to look forward to.

It could pinpoint what’s wrong with your marriage

Having an affair could help you understand what’s missing or wrong with your marriage. It gives you the chance to explore other options before ending your marriage completely. If your partner finds out and can forgive you, it could revitalise your relationship.

An affair is confidence boosting

If you don’t feel you’re being appreciated by your partner, an affair can make you feel good. This is because as a species, we love flattery. If you feel you’ve lost your way or no longer feel sexy, an affair can bring out those deep-rooted feelings while releasing feel-good hormones.

It will improve your sex life

As well as potentially learning a new skill or two, you can become a new person sexually during an affair. The person you’re having an affair with won’t know you as deeply as your partner. Cheating presents the perfect opportunity to be who you really want to be in the bedroom – and beyond!

What are the pros and cons of affair dating sites?

Pros of Affair Dating Sites

  • They tend to be discreet, meaning your identity is protected.
  • The websites are specialised, so you’re in safe hands.
  • There are plenty of added features that make the dating experience safer. This includes a panic button.
  • You can meet people outside of your social circle.

X Cons of Affair Dating Sites

  • Some sites use bots to increase member numbers.
  • They can be substantially more expensive than traditional dating sites.

My recommendation

Generally, we gave all the affair dating sites we reviewed good scores. The developers clearly know that they have to go above and beyond in order for members to trust them. Overall, Ashley Madison came out on top. We gave them a score of 4.2 / 5.

Yes, they had a major data breach a few years back. However, lessons have clearly been learnt. They’ve improved the safety and security of the site, which earns them major brownie points.

Other things we like:

  • All your details are kept hidden at all times.
  • The site feels very premium. You get what you pay for.
  • You don’t need to subscribe but can instead buy credits.

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