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Best Swinger Dating Sites in 2020

If you’re in a hurry and want to know our choice for the best swinging dating site then we recommend SDC.

If you’ve ever been tempted to dip your toes into the world of swinging, you might be wondering about what it entails. Swinging has a bit of a bad reputation for being seedy and a little bit sleazy. This puts people off or gives them the wrong impression.

Swinging sites put the control back into its members’ hands. It gives users a platform to give swinging a try. It doesn’t matter if they’re a newbie or a seasoned pro. It aims to keep things safe so that you’re free to enjoy the experience.

In this article we will review the following swinging dating sites:

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What are the best swinger dating sites?

AdultFriendFinder

About AdultFriendFinder: AdultFriendFinder is for nearby hookups. It offers one of the world’s largest sex and swinger communities. Members can join for swinging, threesomes, alternative partners, or to find a traditional partner. Nothing is off-limits, but it’s completely safe.

Why AdultFriendFinder is a top swingers dating site: AdultFriendFinder is a great app for people looking to spice up their sex lives. It’s also engineered to help to connect members with people who match them best. It’s easy to find nearby people too. If you’re looking to meet for a casual hookup, the sophisticated app puts you in touch.

Swinging Heaven

About Swinging Heaven: Swinging Heaven is one of the UK’s most popular dogging and swinging sites. You can join as a single person or as part of a couple. It’s most popular with people aged between 34-44. Dogging is a large part of the site, as is sharing photos and videos. Swinging Heaven is like a social media site, as it connects all members.

Why Swinging Heaven is a good site for swingers: Swinging Heaven is great for both newbie swingers and seasoned professionals. The site features global chat rooms and groups. These allow members to get to know each other and meet for some fun. You can even find swinging parties nearby if you’re feeling adventurous.

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SDC

About SDC: SDC helps singles and couples dip their toes into the world of swinging. Many members are interested in having a threesome. So much so, top choicecouples make up 50% of the membership base. There aren’t so many women on the site; only 20% are single females. However, it’s a great site if you’re looking to have some fun.

Why SDC is a good site for swingers: SDC is a great source of information about sexuality, relationships and health. There are a wealth of resources on offer, including podcasts, videos and articles. These help to guide members on their erotic journeys. One of the best things about SDC is that it brings together like-minded people. There are plenty of people to discover nearby, too.

The Adult Hub

About The Adult Hub: The Adult Hub is one of the most recognisable names in the world of adult dating. It’s the place where people go to have fun. It’s also a safe community where people can live out their fantasies without fear of judgement. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to do because you can report and block members.

Why The Adult Hub is a good site for swingers: You only have to pay to get unrestricted private communication. Everything else is free, including joining, viewing media, and contacting members. This is rare. You can also find swinging parties and clubs near your location. Many members go to meet up, meaning there’s loads of opportunity to have a bit of fun.

Fabswingers

About Fabswingers: FabSwingers looks a little outdated, but it’s created for swingers by a genuine swinging couple. It’s also free. 200,000 people use the site daily and the gender proportion is quite evenly split, with 60% male and 40% female. Couples often join the site too. They’re usually on the prowl for singles looking to join them for some fun.

Why Fabswingers is one of the best swinging dating sites: On FabSwingers, you can send a standard message, join a chat room, or take part in the forum chats. You can also add yourself to a meet-up group. If you’re feeling adventurous or want to explore, it’s a safe, secure way to try swinging for the first time. There’s loads of material on the site where you can find more information, too. FabSwingers wants to help you on your journey.

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How are swinging dating sites different from normal dating sites?

Swinging sites allow members to sign up alone or as a couple. Many sites offer swinging parties. The end goal is to set you up with couples and singles you feel comfortable enough to meet. You might want to try soft play, or you might want penetrative sex. Swinging sites tend to be quite graphic. Many members share X-rated pictures and videos. Even marketing content is explicit. You won’t find traditional relationships or people looking for love. Instead, it’s strictly sexual.

What are the benefits of joining a swinging dating site?

Freedom to explore

Swinging sites allow people to explore their sexuality. They might be open to trying new things or discovering something different. They can have sex with people they haven’t before. They could be older and more experienced. Or they might be younger and full of energy. People from all walks of life can meet and mutually benefit from each other.

Meet new people with similar interests

Not only can you experiment sexually, but you can meet people you have things in common with. This can allow you to develop a better sexual connection. But above all else, it makes sex more fun.

Who’s on swinging dating sites?

You’ll find a mixture of singles and couples on a swinging dating site. Single members are usually looking for some fun outside of the traditional dating world. Couples tend to have a strong relationship. But they want to inject something fun, unique, and a little bit dating into it. Almost everyone is looking to explore their sexuality. Some will be into swinging in a big way. Others will be new to the swinging scene completely. Either way, members tend to be open and comfortable with their sexuality. They’re looking for a bit of excitement.

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What factors to look for when deciding on a swinging dating site?

Privacy and security

With a swinging website, you need to put your safety first. Always. This is especially the case if you’re a single person looking to meet up with a couple. Get to know people first, and make sure the site you’ve signed up to offers adequate safety steps. This could include a block and report function. It could also include anonymity measures to keep your real identity safe.

Make sure you read up on the safety policies for swinging parties, too. You should go to any event armed with all the information you’ll need. This is to keep yourself safe, but also to ensure you’re comfortable and know what to expect. Intrigue is part of the fun, but don’t let it be a complete surprise.

Extra features

Extra features can be fun, but they’re not essential. Many swinging sites offer X-rated chat rooms or the option to send explicit images to other members. These usually don’t come free, so you’ll need to become a paying member to access some of the more risque features. Extra features can improve your dating site experience. It’s a good idea to have a look at what’s on offer before you sign up to anything.

Quality of membership base

The quality of members is important on a swinging dating site. After all, you don’t want to explore your sexuality with just anybody. It’s crucial that before you meet anybody or sign up to any swinging parties, you try and find some like-minded people. Chat to members, see what they’re all about, and make sure the site you’ve joined is the right one.

Price

It might surprise you that some adult dating sites allow you to join and chat to members for free. This is great if you’re new to swinging and testing it out. And, of course, this will appeal if you’re on a budget. Some of these sites don’t offer the best website experience, though. Try a few out before signing up – many sites offer free trials.

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How can married people get started with swinging?

While the thought of you or your partner having sex with someone else can be daunting, it can be exciting, too. Before you take the plunge though, there are a few things to do first.

  • Make sure your relationship is strong. Swinging isn’t a remedy for marriage problems – you need to be able to trust each other before you start.
  • Set your rules and limits. Be clear on them beforehand.
  • Dip your toes in the water first by attending a meetup. You don’t have to dive right on. Take it slow and go at your own pace.
  • Don’t feel pressured to have sex. Not all couples do – some simply watch.
  • Rethink your sexual values to make sure they align with swinging. If you want to try something new and exciting, swinging isn’t the only way.

What are common reasons people become swingers?

Many singles and couples looking to swinging to spice up their sex lives. This could be because sex has become stale and boring, or it could be because they want to experiment.

A couple also might want to inject something new into their relationship. This could be because their relationship is no longer working. This doesn’t usually end well, though. Most swingers say that you should only start if your relationship is super strong.

When it comes to single swingers, traditional sex is usually too dull and boring. They might have specific sexual fantasies or want to see what they do like before settling down.

swinging rules boundaries

What are the different types of swinging and open relationships?

Perhaps surprisingly, there are many types of open relationship in the swinging community. All are open and consensual. They’re not all promiscuous.

Partnered monogamy

Couples who have coupled up to engage in swinging are usually in an emotionally monogamous relationship. They may also be erotically promiscuous. Emotionally, the connection is good, but the couple may want to explore sexually. The other relationships are commitment-free and usually casual.

Swinging

The focus of swinging is usually of a sexual variety. It’s rarely about an emotional connection. In this way, swinging is similar to partnered monogamy. While there are different kinds of swinging, including same-sex and soft swap, swinging is very much focused around couples. If you go to a meetup, you’ll find many partners.

Progressive swinging

This is a new term and is used to describe swingers who are comfortable with having emotional intimacy with their sexual partners. They may also enjoy meeting up with their partners outside of a sexual setting. They would normally do the things that friends do.

Polyamory

This is where someone prefers emotional closeness with their sexual partner, whether they are married to them or not. In fact, it’s often a priority and sometimes comes without sex. Polyamory includes having a primary relationship, with other secondary relationships. This is known as hierarchical polyamory. Non-hierarchical polyamory is where no partner is more of a priority than the other. Finally, polyfidelity is where three or more partners decide to be primaries with each other.

There are other types of swinging and open relationships too, but these are the most common.

types of swingers

What types of people can you expect to encounter at a swinging sex party or meetup?

Sex parties attract all kinds of people, but you’ll usually find the following five types:

The networkers

Some people attend swinging parties to network. As membership fees aren’t usually cheap, they’re typically well off professionals who have a decent business to share. You’ll find them mingling with the guests over drinks, before leaving when the sexual activities start.

The professionals

If you spot a couple who is a bit too good looking, they could be a professional. You might be surprised to know that they’re there to instigate things. They don’t tend to get involved sexually, but they are there to boost confidence.

The people who don’t want to be there

You’ll always find one half a couple who’s uncomfortable about being at a swinging party. They’ve likely compromised to keep their partner happy. Ultimately though, if they’re not comfortable then they shouldn’t be there. Swinging parties are about exploration, and should always be consensual.

The seasoned experts

You’ll always find the regulars – the couples who have attended many swinging parties. They might gravitate towards each other. They’re also usually the first to get the party started. If you don’t know what you’re doing, follow their lead. You could learn a thing or two.

The voyeurs

Some couples don’t like having sex, but they like to watch. Some are first-timers picking up tips. Others visit swinging events regularly to watch the events unfold.

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How do you know your relationship is ready for swinging?

This is a difficult question to answer and will depend on your relationship. It’s important to remember that ‘mostly’ ready can be good enough – as long as you’re both on board. These are some tell-tale signs that your marriage is ready.

You’re both feeling curious. You’ve talked through your wants and have both determined that you are willing to give swinging a try.
You’re able to talk through your problems and communicate effectively. You’re both not afraid to say exactly what you think. This is important because if one of you wants to stop at any time, that wish needs to be respected.

You’re able to tell what your partner is thinking. Sometimes it’s hard to have an open conversation when you’re surrounded by people. Instead, make sure you can pick up on the subtle clues that alert you to what they are thinking.

Swinging can be incredibly fun, but only if you do it safely. Chat through all your concerns with your partner before you start, and see how it goes at a slow pace.

Can swinging save my marriage or relationship?

Unfortunately not. It’s crucial that you have a strong relationship before trying any form of swinging. If you use it as a way to fix your marriage issues, they will only get worse. You may start to feel a lack of trust, or jealousy may build. Either way, you won’t enjoy the experience. If you’re having issues, work them out before you start any form of sexual experimentation.

How to set boundaries and decide personal swinging rules?

Each couple will have a different set of rules and boundaries before they start swinging. What they are should be agreed by the couple before starting anything. But some swinging rules will resonate with most people. These are great for getting you started.

Firstly, if either of you isn’t attracted to their play partner, you walk away. It’s not fair for just one person to have all the fun. Talk about what you’re looking to find in a playing partner beforehand.

It’s also best to stay away from kissing. This is a very intimate act and can make either you or your partner uncomfortable. Many swinging couples abide by this rule too, so could be alarmed if you go in for a peck.

You might also want to decide whether to stay in the same room or go to separate areas if you’re planning to have full penetration with a sex partner. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Are you comfortable with full penetration or is soft swap enough? Only you can decide, but make sure you don’t agree to full penetration if your heart’s not really in it. If you do choose to go for full penetration, decide whether you need your partner to use condoms or not. Some swinging parties will make this compulsory anyway. It’s still something to consider, though.

Another thing that’s rea;y important to consider is that you might not want to play with the same couple more than once in a short space of time. This is because one of you might start to build an emotional connection.

What are some challenges of swinging dating and relationships?

It won’t fix broken relationships and will only break them faster
As we’ve already highlighted, swinging is a recipe for disaster if you’re having issues in your relationship. Swinging is likely to make things far worse. It will highlight your problems and amplify them for everyone to see. It could lead to the demise of your relationship – the opposite reason to why you started swinging.

Keeping your lifestyle a secret

Because of the negative connotations around swinging, many people prefer to keep that side of their lives private. It’s hard, though. It’s not something you should be ashamed of but, unfortunately, some people don’t understand what it’s all about. You might also have to keep it secret because of your job or your family’s values. The secret shouldn’t define you, so celebrate who you’re all about behind closed doors if you have to.

Partners can disagree about wanting to swing

This can be a huge problem. Swinging will only work for a couple if they’re both into it. If one person simply goes along with it, there’ll be problems along the line. It can end up causing resentment and could even lead to the breakdown of a relationship.

You may have different boundaries than your partner

If you’re more adventurous than your partner, you may have a completely different experience. You might have a good time, but they won’t. While this could work, you must figure out your rules and boundaries before you start anything. And if your partner doesn’t feel up to it, respect that.

Sexual jealousy

This one can be damaging to a relationship. If you feel your partner has started to develop feelings for a sex partner, it can be hard to allow the relationship to continue. It’s hard to switch off jealousy. While swinging is often purely sexual, you can only do what you feel comfortable with.

It can be hard to find play partners

People who go to swingers clubs tend to be normal people with kids. They just want to try something new. The problem is this isn’t always glamorous or sexy. It can be tricky to find people you’re sexually attracted to but don’t feel an emotional connection with. That’s why a lot of couples give up.

It can be a time consuming

With busy schedules and kids to look after, life is often hectic enough. Devoting additional time to swinging can be tricky. It’s almost impossible to do. Swinging might be more hassle than it’s worth. If you don’t have time to maintain it, it might not be worth starting.

Fears can surface

It’s natural to freak out and have second thoughts. Or you could start to fear your partner leaving you for a swinging partner. You may get fears about your body and looks by comparing yourself to others. All of these can leave you feeling down, depressed, and self-conscious.

Health risks and STDs

This is a huge risk with swinging. It’s also something that shouldn’t be overlooked. STDs are a real possibility if you choose not to use condoms. Make your health your priority. It’s also a good idea to get yourself checked over regularly to keep on top of your sexual health.

Dishonesty and affairs

There is a risk that swinging can lead to affairs. While we want to be able to trust our partner, these things can happen. And it’s devastating when they do. It’s easy to blame swinging, but the reality is, your partner may have been tempted in a normal setting anyway.

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What are the benefits of the best swinging dating sites and relationships?

Freedom to explore multiple sexual partners and experience

Having the freedom to explore can be enough. It’s not just about sexual gratification. Having sex with someone who has more experience can be an amazing learning experience. You can even take what you’ve learnt into a steady relationship. You can see sex differently and try things you’ve never had the confidence to before.

Gives you greater sexual confidence

Swinging allows you to learn new things that you’ve never felt comfortable to try before. This can boost your confidence and give you an improved sense of wellbeing.

A platform to tackle fears

We need fears to push us to the limits and grow. Facing them can help you grow sexually. And swinging allows this to happen. If you have issues in trusting your partner to have a play partner, this can open up deeper levels of trust and honesty.

Less temptation to have an affair

When you’re able to unleash your sexual frustrations during a swinging party, there’s no need for an affair. In fact, it’s even better as you’re able to do it alongside your partner. Being honest with your partner is the best way to ensure you stay faithful, even if you feel some kind of temptation.

Meet new people and friends

An unexpected bonus of swinging is that you can meet like-minded people and make friends with them. It’s not just about sex – you might have travel, food, or hobbies in common. This makes it easier to build a sexual connection and gives you something to talk about before you get started.

Escape the grind of everyday living

Everyday life can be a bit repetitive. It’s easy to lose sight of the fun things. You might also lose sight of what’s important. Everyday life can be hard work. Swinging is a great way to let loose, unwind, and have a bit of fun.

Variety is the spice of life

Swinging can add a little spark that gives participants something to look forward to. Even swinging occasionally can be enough to build excitement and leave some time for you and your partner to enjoy. It’s a time for just the two of you. You can choose things you like to do, and things that you’ve never tried before. It’s not cookie-cutter sex – it’s wild.

Enhance the experience with your partner

One of the best things about swinging is that you can do it together with your partner. This will build your connection, trust, and romance. There’s no sneaking behind each other’s back. You can instead be completely open and honest about sex. You can also bring what you’ve both learned from your sex partners to the bedroom to spice things up.

Enjoy the experience, be present in the moment

Swinging allows you to forget about everything else and take in the moment completely. If you’ve had a busy day or a lot of stress to deal with, they can be put aside while you enjoy the swinging experience.

It can strengthen an already strong relationship

Swinging can give couples a new sense of love and passion. It can also build trust and boost bedroom confidence. Swinging is designed to be about togetherness. It will bring you together – if your relationship is strong, to begin with.

Opens up the lines of communication

Swinging stops sex from being a taboo and turns it into a thing of normal discussion. It’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s a healthy part of a relationship and should be a regular part of the conversation. Being able to discuss your desires openly and honestly can help strengthen them.

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What are the pros and cons of swinging dating sites?

Pros of Swinging Dating Sites

  • Meet people who are comfortable with their sexuality
  • Enjoy pushing the boundaries of your sexuality
  • Share X-rated pictures and videos
  • Discover swinging parties that unlock a new sexual way of life

X Cons of Swinging Dating Sites

  • Sites can be very sexually graphic and too explicit for some
  • You’re not likely to find a serious relationship
  • Members might not be willing to get to know the real you
  • You have to be incredibly conscious of your safety at all times

My recommendation

There are plenty of great swinging dating sites on our list, but our favourite is SDC. It’s a lot smaller compared to the bigger players, but it’s great for helping members discover something new. It also features a good mix of couples and singles, so there’s something for everyone.

Other things we like:

  • The site features great quality content, giving it a premium look and feel.
  • There are plenty of members to discover.
  • Swinging parties are carried out in a safe and controlled environment.

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